Team Seacats

I only wish I could show you all of the plenteous and variegated fritilaries garnishing the lagoon floor that rest mere steps from our hotel room door. In point of fact, you would, at this very moment, be gazing upon Madam Nature’s splediferosity instead of parsing these measly bits of confused scribble had someone not forgotten the camera cable. That would be me, natch. I left it far behind me, along with my snow covered neighbors and my bubbie: a misunderstood but well meaning Pit Bull. Jake and I slipped and slid all the way to the airport following a rare winter treat. A fair few inches fell quickly as we were packing and I kept getting sidetracked by the fun outside. With our world clothed in the fluffy water, the backyard and neighborhood were suddenly transformed into what can only be termed artificial daylight. I kept grabbing giant handfulls of these unflavored snowcones and taking them inside for a rather messy treat. I blame this for skewing my priorities (not to mention freezing my tongue until I was slurring) and attention for Keys Trip 101. French pedicure, check. Sunglasses, check. Xanax, check. Glossy briefings concerning the latest on the zeppelin-like crash and burn of Britney, check y’all. And with that, I was ready to go. Mea culpa.

In any case, I’m not getting on a boat so my race photos would have been sub par in that respect, regardless. However, I did bring the camera charger so I will have plenty of evidence on offer for any civil or criminal proceedings (or a little friendly blackmail) stemming from any land based, after hours mayhem cum frivolity. What happens in the Keys will definitely not stay in the Keys so if a Meister Jaeger or Captain Morgan come a knockin’ then, be ye warned, my megapixels may follow.

Meanwhile, boats…are…racing! And…that’s the extent of my update. Wah, wah, wah. The reasons for this are 1) I have no binoculars, as aforementioned. 2) With several fleets meandering around in various states of readiness between the three minute start sequences, I am even more confused than usual as to what’s happening. 3) I am in pain and can barely think straight. I’m fairly sure that Jake will post later about his first ever competition on the same boat with Nigel Pitt after years of camaraderie at the same regattas. Nigel and Alex Shafer walked away with top honors at the 2007 Nacra 20 North American Championship in Pensacola last Fall while Jake sailed into second place crewing for Wick Smith at the same race. Wick’s back here at Tradewinds with his regular crew (son, Wick Jr.). I’m excited to see how things play out with that little switcheroo, even though each fleet has some great competitors from around the world in a sport where one small miscalculation, unexpected puff, or fit of overconfidence can cost dearly. My girls, Tammy Pitt and Renee Lennard are back from trinket gathering and armed with binocs so I may have some details later. They’re much better at spotting, anyway, being competitive sailors themselves. I know I saw three boats flipped at once across the horizon but none had blue hulls so I’m still feeling good. Tammy says that Nigel and Jake are in 4th at the moment. All of the boats seem to be enjoying super conditions, smoking up the course, and only one of the flipped boats I mentioned earlier is still over but not receiving assistance, so presumably it’s not too bad.

Meanwhile, Tammy’s got on a bikini top, so I’ll see what I can do for you. Oh yeah, no camera cable. Too bad, so sad. Well, you might be able to find photos of women in bathing suits somewhere on the Internet. If only one knew where to look. Good luck with your new assignment. I’m going to go talk to the girls, maybe play some on Neopets. Yes. I admit it. I’m not really a grown-up at all.