How to annoy people
by Jake on Nov.07, 2007, under Miscellaneous
The first 10 of a 246 step process (the rest located HERE)
- Specify that your drive-thru order is “to go.â€
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
- Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub.â€
- Name your dog “Dog.â€
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.â€
- Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.â€
- Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.â€
- Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment
.